The Fascinating Thinking Machine

by Kicklighter

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1.
Baby girl how I love you Sleepy blue-green eyes Tomorrow holds her promises I'll meet you at sunrise To please the world, to justify I changed the song I sing It lights me up and breaks my heart You are much like me One boy, a friend of mine When I was younger At a fork in the street One boy paralyzed And growing older With the world at his feet feet feet Let the road Take you, break you, heal you No matter where you're going Ride on until you feel the sunlight on you Let it Burn you, turn you, hold you Desire knows what it's doing Ride on until you see the sun before you My wish for you will never die It swims inside your blood Say what you won't live without Find the thing you love You loving heart tells who you are So listen to no one Decide, then drive, drive all night Until you see the sun One boy, a friend of mine When I was younger At a fork in the street One boy paralyzed And growing older With the world at his feet feet feet Let the road Take you, break you, heal you No matter where you're going Ride on until you feel the sunlight on you Let it Burn you, turn you, hold you Desire knows what it's doing Ride on until you see the sun before you Please do trust yourself Take care of yourself Tend your garden and Let your sunflowers grow Baby girl how I love you Sleepy blue-green eyes Tomorrow holds her promises I'll meet you at sunrise Ride on Until you see the sun before you Ride on Until you feel the sunlight warm you
2.
I believe in love, Peace and poetry Butter not guns, Books not bombs, You've heard it all Neighbors will see The world the way they do But just today They pushed my back up to the wall Millions must pay For simple theories I shake my head Friends, we don't see mind to mind I think too much, I drive myself mad You think too fast, The obvious will make you blind It is a world without any right angles It is a world in shades of gray "You have a right to look out and see easy answers. You have a right to your only way," Says a tender mind. Give the other your love And you take no side. But today I don't want to see this world through my enemy's eyes Give me one last fight And tomorrow I'll try for love again It's just a gift, you're a workhorse human. Don't say you live in a jungle red of tooth and claw One man's good luck Don't fall on everyone One Iowa snow Don't mean it's cold in Colombia It is a world without any right angles It is a world in shades of gray "You have a right to take pride in the work you've done. Go tell the tale of the price you paid," Says a tender mind. Give the other your love And you take no side. But today I don't want to see this world through my enemy's eyes Give me one last fight And tomorrow I'll try for love again I've wounded him He's wounded me Stalemate at best I'll find my heart some distant day Softening his face He drops his shoulders He turns to speak And I'm a billion miles away It is a world without any right angles It is a world in shades of gray "You have a right to take pride in yourself," Says a tender mind...
3.
This part is love. This part is worry. This part would kill a man, This part is empathy. Plug in, turn on, and what goes down you'll just have to see This makes it shy And this part acts guilty This part does cruel things And calls it morality All hooked up together rather in disharmony Could save a life, or he could explode All that he does is in the code But he cant say why, 'cause he's in the dark, and so are we, believe me Here it's cool doubt But this part is naive One part believes in god One rages, jealously Plug in, turn on, and what wins out, just wait and see There is no brain, no central control The sum of the parts exceeds the whole Still get your heart watching it cry like you and me We never built a soul to speak of Still he can make you fall in love He'll swear up and down he feels it all like you and me But surely that just Cannot be And if this were a man It'd be haunted by memories A question for every star To drive itself crazy It would laugh till it cried And almost drew your sympathy But there is no brain, no central control The sum of the parts exceeds the whole Still get your heart watching it die like you and me But We never built a soul to speak of Still he can make you fall in love He'll swear up and down he feels it all like you and me But surely that just cannot be.
4.
When he walks into a room The Sultan of Brunei Hear them all sing different tunes Sultan of Brunei Look happy, be yourself Straighten up your spine Wait for your moment to shine Wait for your moment to shine Best behavior, run your race Sultan of Brunei Feel the blood rush to your face When you catch his eye You're just a man like me No one owns the sky But who knows you when they know There's no wish you couldn't buy And nobody tells you no You're the sultan of Brunei And we hide And we hide without a good reason No good reason yeah but we hide Just to be him Though no yacht or jet plane can free him So what's this envy? Who invited you here inside me? Have compassion With every friend a potential assassin You would cry Can I say that you're my friend Can I drop your name? Can I tag along and learn How you handle your fame One hour alone with you That's all I require Promise not to waste your time I would never waste your time Everybody knows you are The Sultan of Brunei Money only goes so far Spoken with a sigh What can your world be like Do you know you'll die? 'Cause who tells you when they know There's no wish you couldn't buy And nobody tells you no You're the sultan of Brunei And we hide And we hide without a good reason No good reason yeah but we hide Devised a question For a moment snared his attention He smiled and relaxed Then his phone rang, Excuse me, be right back But he was gone When he walks into a room The Sultan of Brunei Hear them all sing different tunes! Sultan of Brunei Look happy, be yourself Straighten up your spine Wait for your moment to shine Wait for your moment to shine Good behavior, run your race Sultan of Brunei blood is rushing to your face When you catch his eye You're just a man like me No one owns the sky But who knows you when they know Ain't a wish you couldn't buy And nobody tells you no You're the sultan of Brunei And we hide And we hide without a good reason No good reason yeah but we hide
5.
In my recurring dream I remember the fight I see you drive away Your lifeless brown eyes I see me running after And the morning sunrise Spread light on a new world In my recurring dream We're much older now And you could've changed your name Been passed in a crowd In circles I turn over Cities and towns we used to run to After The healing, after decades or more You will find me Ready to know you Long after letting go, long after the war I will find you ready to love me In my recurring dream The storm seems to have passed The fortress 'round your heart Towers of glass I take a breath to call to you But scenes change so fast I soon forget where we are I spy you on a train Steaming away A voice across the market square What did she say? you vanish round the corner The games our minds play Then back to my own bedroom. After The healing, after decades or more You will find me Ready to know you Long after letting go, long after the war I will find you ready to love me Lift up your eyes to mine Don't wake me before We can finally see we are in the sun Down the hall I can hear you In my bed I can feel you Pastures outside my door Where your horses still run Was a time when I knew you For one moment I glimpsed you Will you know me again After the healing's done? After The healing, after decades or more You will find me Ready to know you Long after letting go, long after the war I will find you ready to love me Lift up your eyes to mine Don't wake me before We can finally see we are in the sun After the healing's done
6.
Thought I was gold, sold. The years they had claimed Gave my all, all, all Then the call finally came That office door shut, A knife in the gut, Knew as I walked back down the hall Things would not be the same The distant chimes The setting sun behind the blinds Little pieces never leave me When Howie dressed me down He sees a fraud, a fake, I see my mistake My face turns cold My fingers start to shake How many years blown, kid what were they for? I see my shadow on the floor This is real I am wide awake The desk, the black eyes, The off-and-on fluorescent light I can see it, I can hear it When Howie dressed me down When Howie dressed me down Said this is for your own good. When Howie dressed me down Sorry I'd wasted all his time, dropped my eyes and saw where I stood So many years now Under the bridge Why give such power to the son of a bitch? Thoughts, ghosts, where do they come from? He never knew what he was doing he was sadder than anyone They worried, they watched They had to bring me down a notch It was always for my own good To set me straight somehow Remember the desk, the light The answers I could not get right I can hear it, I can feel it When Howie dressed me down
7.
Here in my ivory tower I'm the fascinating thinking machine A dozen theories I'm dying to prove And nobody to see what I mean No one To see They don't see me If I remember to do it Once a blue moon eye contact's made No sense of timing, I hold too long And get nervous As I look away and feel These eyes My cold blue eyes Not smile like a child's would Too serious for my own good And you'd think it was easy to love yourself Like I love everybody else I'm lost In my own room I only want to know you And the moment I think I can trust myself I fall back The professor strikes again You know the first impression Only so many things you control They looked right through the jacket you bought Listened through every story you told No one Recalled The tales you told Should I examine my zipper? Does my collar have a ketchup stain? I think I see a connection made But they keep on forgetting my name My name One day I'll hear my name and Laugh like a child would Too serious for my own good And you'd think it was easy to love yourself Like I love everybody else I'm lost In my own room I only want to know you And the moment I think I can trust myself I fall back The professor strikes again I think about my dear old mom She loved every single thing I said Yeah I could kill a man and still not let her down If I could see myself that way There might be brighter days ahead I could quiet down, let go, and watch it Turn you around Back in the ivory tower Where my theories at least I can know I know one other thing right about now I'm so tired its high time to go To bed Where things Don't hurt my head And dream like a child would Too serious for my own good And you'd think it was easy to love yourself Like I love everybody else I'm lost In my own room I only want to know you And the moment I think I can trust myself I fall back The professor strikes again
8.
Can't sleep I turn on my TV To quiet a mind That won't stop racing How I've aged; Will the kids be okay? It bitters the fruit I should be tasting And so I complain 'cause I missed another sunset See there I go Haven't learned my lesson yet And I've been thinking Life's for living I should be laughing I don't know why I won't let it go The world is turning Time goes flying And I've been fighting I Don't know why I won't let it go Sunday, had some time to play Saw an old Buddhist friend, what a book he's writing Faced facts, There's so much I want back Still, with all that I've got I had best be biting my tongue And he reminds me To notice every sunset Says I'm looking young Man I don't feel that quite yet And I've been thinking Life's for living I should be laughing I don't know why I won't let it go The world is turning Time goes flying And I've been fighting I Don't know why I won't let it go Eyes go blurry From all my worry I'll set myself free But then why can't I just let it go And my friends tell me I look so happy Do they see something I don't? Hear that voice? It's always counting time To steal half my peace of mind And there's a loving one and oh yes, I believe in that too To wake with worry leaves you paralyzed It lives not just in your mind It's in my greying hair What god would put it there? Man it's hard to trust you. Daydream, I'd just turned seventeen Life had barely begun I was broken hearted Summer days Redhead girl gone away Is it then or much later when child's eyes started to fade? Gotta get back there someday And I've been thinking Life's for living I should be laughing I don't know why I won't let it go The world is turning Time goes flying And I've been fighting I Don't know why I won't let it go Eyes go blurry From all my worry I'll set myself free But then then why can't I just let it go Did I imagine I heard you laughing Like we're two children? We just gotta try to let it go.
9.
Kid 04:44
Hey kid, welcome to this place You must have walked far There ain't nothing close to here. One crooked highway cuts here Through the sand like a scar From hometowns where the fight is clear Time flies like an eagle You just don't understand Till some of your time has flown Don't blame it on yourself kid You're the best kind of man You will not be turned to stone For the chances you call blown Let me guess... You were young just yesterday And everybody makes mistakes But you were never supposed to arrive here Yeah let me guess You were clever but what's it worth? Couldn't see around the curves And you don't want to spend your life here Well, welcome home. Can't tell you if a bookshelf full of plays and poetry Still says what I'd want to say But it's amazing to have thought so hard and seen what I could see It will all be gone someday We will all be gone someday. Let me guess You were young just yesterday And everybody makes mistakes But you were never supposed to arrive here Yeah let me guess You took your lessons like you should You were earnest, you were good And you don't want to spend your life here Well, welcome. Down by the waterfront on the first of May People strolling, breezes blowing, summer coming soon Children chase and worries seem a world away Then there's you. Then there's you, Just like me, if you'd enjoy the ride kid one percent more than you do, See how brightly your star has shown You would have your ride back home Let me guess...
10.
Saying goodbye, Are there words I can find To make it feel real 'Cause the world seems the same. It's the same old moon As when I was a child The same park where we played And the same summer rains The boy with his dreams He can never outgrow If only the new world were less like the world I know The only one I know Behind that door Its his home His kids His life He has everything Behind that door It's the same old town Past the roads and the schools And the dreams And you know he still dreams And he wants more He laughs out loud Ancient joke He once shared With a friend, He nearly calls Until he realizes... Yeah he wants more He wants more Saying goodbye, Are there words I can find To make it feel real 'Cause the world seems the same. It's the same old moon As when I was a child The same park where we played And the same summer rains The boy with his dreams He can never outgrow If only the new world were less like the world I know The only one I know The first ten seconds of the day I don't even know my age. I need two cups to realize it ain't Twenty years ago Can you help me get that phases pass That fingers ache 'cause bones won't last And write a clever epitaph to To everything I know He wants more. Saying goodbye....
11.
And so the libertarian Read Atlas Shrugged in high school. It changed his life forever! Better go hungry than to soak the government It's only common sense. Don't A=A? 'Cause to a logical thinker This world ain't so hard to figure. It's a game of survival and if you're the winner let the lion eat dinner and the lambs can pray. In a garage, in a basement, He works all night, the libertarian He's a cowboy, a modern lone ranger, a smart guy Yeah he's the libertarian He ain't heartless. He cares about children, So don't tread on the libertarian man! Built an elaborate train set He tinkers with it for hours! Plasticine hobos stay warm by a fire. They can only admire what a great man can be! Got a ham radio station, A generator for power. They can't silence him. Tonight at 9 pm, He'll shout at the world from his property! Alone in a bedroom, he bangs on a drumset. He keeps great time--he's the libertarian! Cuban cigars you wonder how he gets to buy-- Well, baby, he's the libertarian! He's a hunter, yeah. He eats what he kills, yeah! So don't tread on the libertarian man. And don't de-humanize him. Have I mischaracterized him? They say if you can get close, you've never had a better friend. I see him throwing his hands up-- He should have gone into stand-up. He's dry, irreverent and cool, And I need a dose now and again. He says what he's thinking, so you gotta admire A straight-shooter like the libertarian. He follows his passion, yeah, a lover and fighter Don't mess with the libertarian! In a garage, in a basement, he works all night He's the libertarian He's a cowboy, a modern lone ranger, a tough guy, Yeah he's the libertarian Self-reliant, but he's there when you need him, So don't tread on the libertarian man! Not the government, not in this life! You best not tread on the libertarian man!

about

I was an academic political psychologist having a tough time in the job market, so I picked up the guitar at age 41. Two years later I formed Kicklighter and a year after that, released this. My object was for melody to live and breathe again. Oh, and comparisons to 1980s new wave are entirely welcome.

I teach guitar in Tallahassee, FL, and I teach online too, specializing in teaching older learners, in people wishing to walk the same path I did. Yes, you can start late and go as far, and as fast, as any younger player...but you face a different set of issues. Contact kicklighter (at right) if you want to learn with me!

credits

released March 6, 2014

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Produced by: Tim DeLaney

Mixed by: Everett Young

Mastered by: Reuben Cohen, Lurssen Mastering

Recorded by TD and EY at: Electron Gardens, Atlanta GA and The Nudist Colony, Tallahassee FL

Players...
Guitar, keyboards, chromatic harmonica: EY
Bass: TD
Drums: Sam Owens on all tracks except "The Professor," "The Libertarian," "Saying Goodbye," EY
Trumpet and Flugelhorn: Joe Gransden
Cello: Daron Kirsch
French Horn: Steve Leacock
Backing vocals: Lori Taylor, Steve Leacock, John Lightle, Jesse Corry

Order of songs: Brad Lewis

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about

Kicklighter Tallahassee, Florida

I'm Everett Young, the founder of Kicklighter.

I'm 48 and picked up guitar 7 years ago, after finishing a PhD in political psychology and not getting the tenure-track academic job I thought I wanted.

My latest album is 2.5 years in the making.

My next step is to pursue composing for the orchestra. When or whether I'll return to pop music, I don't know. Thanks so much for listening!
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