The Fascinating Thinking Machine

by Kicklighter

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about

I was an academic political psychologist having a tough time in the job market, so I picked up the guitar at age 41. Two years later I formed Kicklighter and a year after that, released this. My object was for melody to live and breathe again. Oh, and comparisons to 1980s new wave are entirely welcome.

I teach guitar in Tallahassee, FL, and I teach online too, specializing in teaching older learners, in people wishing to walk the same path I did. Yes, you can start late and go as far, and as fast, as any younger player...but you face a different set of issues. Contact kicklighter (at right) if you want to learn with me!

credits

released March 6, 2014

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Produced by: Tim DeLaney

Mixed by: Everett Young

Mastered by: Reuben Cohen, Lurssen Mastering

Recorded by TD and EY at: Electron Gardens, Atlanta GA and The Nudist Colony, Tallahassee FL

Players...
Guitar, keyboards, chromatic harmonica: EY
Bass: TD
Drums: Sam Owens on all tracks except "The Professor," "The Libertarian," "Saying Goodbye," EY
Trumpet and Flugelhorn: Joe Gransden
Cello: Daron Kirsch
French Horn: Steve Leacock
Backing vocals: Lori Taylor, Steve Leacock, John Lightle, Jesse Corry

Order of songs: Brad Lewis

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license

all rights reserved

about

Kicklighter Tallahassee, Florida

I'm Everett Young, the founder of Kicklighter.

I'm 48 and picked up guitar 7 years ago, after finishing a PhD in political psychology and not getting the tenure-track academic job I thought I wanted.

My latest album is 2.5 years in the making.

My next step is to pursue composing for the orchestra. When or whether I'll return to pop music, I don't know. Thanks so much for listening!
... more

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Track Name: Until You See the Sun
Baby girl how I love you
Sleepy blue-green eyes
Tomorrow holds her promises
I'll meet you at sunrise
To please the world, to justify
I changed the song I sing
It lights me up and breaks my heart
You are much like me

One boy, a friend of mine
When I was younger
At a fork in the street
One boy paralyzed
And growing older
With the world at his feet feet feet

Let the road
Take you, break you, heal you
No matter where you're going
Ride on until you feel the sunlight on you
Let it
Burn you, turn you, hold you
Desire knows what it's doing
Ride on until you see the sun before you

My wish for you will never die
It swims inside your blood
Say what you won't live without
Find the thing you love
You loving heart tells who you are
So listen to no one
Decide, then drive, drive all night
Until you see the sun

One boy, a friend of mine
When I was younger
At a fork in the street
One boy paralyzed
And growing older
With the world at his feet feet feet

Let the road
Take you, break you, heal you
No matter where you're going
Ride on until you feel the sunlight on you
Let it
Burn you, turn you, hold you
Desire knows what it's doing
Ride on until you see the sun before you

Please do trust yourself
Take care of yourself
Tend your garden and
Let your sunflowers grow

Baby girl how I love you
Sleepy blue-green eyes
Tomorrow holds her promises
I'll meet you at sunrise
Ride on
Until you see the sun before you
Ride on
Until you feel the sunlight warm you
Track Name: Says a Tender Mind
I believe in love,
Peace and poetry
Butter not guns,
Books not bombs,
You've heard it all

Neighbors will see
The world the way they do
But just today
They pushed my back up to the wall

Millions must pay
For simple theories
I shake my head
Friends, we don't see mind to mind

I think too much,
I drive myself mad
You think too fast,
The obvious will make you blind

It is a world without any right angles
It is a world in shades of gray
"You have a right to look out and see easy answers.
You have a right to your only way,"
Says a tender mind.
Give the other your love
And you take no side.
But today I don't want to see this world through my enemy's eyes
Give me one last fight
And tomorrow I'll try for love again

It's just a gift, you're a workhorse human.
Don't say you live in a jungle red of tooth and claw
One man's good luck
Don't fall on everyone
One Iowa snow
Don't mean it's cold in Colombia

It is a world without any right angles
It is a world in shades of gray
"You have a right to take pride in the work you've done.
Go tell the tale of the price you paid,"
Says a tender mind.
Give the other your love
And you take no side.
But today I don't want to see this world through my enemy's eyes
Give me one last fight
And tomorrow I'll try for love again

I've wounded him
He's wounded me
Stalemate at best
I'll find my heart some distant day
Softening his face
He drops his shoulders
He turns to speak
And I'm a billion miles away

It is a world without any right angles
It is a world in shades of gray
"You have a right to take pride in yourself,"
Says a tender mind...
Track Name: Building a Robot
This part is love.
This part is worry.
This part would kill a man,
This part is empathy.
Plug in, turn on, and what goes down you'll just have to see

This makes it shy
And this part acts guilty
This part does cruel things
And calls it morality
All hooked up together rather in disharmony

Could save a life, or he could explode
All that he does is in the code
But he cant say why, 'cause he's in the dark, and so are we, believe me

Here it's cool doubt
But this part is naive
One part believes in god
One rages, jealously
Plug in, turn on, and what wins out, just wait and see

There is no brain, no central control
The sum of the parts exceeds the whole
Still get your heart watching it cry like you and me
We never built a soul to speak of
Still he can make you fall in love
He'll swear up and down he feels it all like you and me
But surely that just
Cannot be

And if this were a man
It'd be haunted by memories
A question for every star
To drive itself crazy
It would laugh till it cried
And almost drew your sympathy

But there is no brain, no central control
The sum of the parts exceeds the whole
Still get your heart watching it die like you and me
But We never built a soul to speak of
Still he can make you fall in love
He'll swear up and down he feels it all like you and me
But surely
that just cannot be.
Track Name: The Sultan of Brunei
When he walks into a room
The Sultan of Brunei
Hear them all sing different tunes
Sultan of Brunei
Look happy, be yourself
Straighten up your spine

Wait for your moment to shine
Wait for your moment to shine

Best behavior, run your race
Sultan of Brunei
Feel the blood rush to your face
When you catch his eye
You're just a man like me
No one owns the sky

But who knows you when they know
There's no wish you couldn't buy
And nobody tells you no
You're the sultan of Brunei
And we hide
And we hide without a good reason
No good reason yeah but we hide

Just to be him
Though no yacht or jet plane can free him
So what's this envy?
Who invited you here inside me?
Have compassion
With every friend a potential assassin
You would cry

Can I say that you're my friend
Can I drop your name?
Can I tag along and learn
How you handle your fame
One hour alone with you
That's all I require

Promise not to waste your time
I would never waste your time

Everybody knows you are
The Sultan of Brunei
Money only goes so far
Spoken with a sigh
What can your world be like
Do you know you'll die?

'Cause who tells you when they know
There's no wish you couldn't buy
And nobody tells you no
You're the sultan of Brunei
And we hide
And we hide without a good reason
No good reason yeah but we hide

Devised a question
For a moment snared his attention
He smiled and relaxed
Then his phone rang,
Excuse me, be right back
But he was gone

When he walks into a room
The Sultan of Brunei
Hear them all sing different tunes!
Sultan of Brunei
Look happy, be yourself
Straighten up your spine
Wait for your moment to shine
Wait for your moment to shine
Good behavior, run your race
Sultan of Brunei
blood is rushing to your face
When you catch his eye
You're just a man like me
No one owns the sky
But who knows you when they know
Ain't a wish you couldn't buy
And nobody tells you no
You're the sultan of Brunei
And we hide
And we hide without a good reason
No good reason yeah but we hide
Track Name: After the Healing
In my recurring dream
I remember the fight
I see you drive away
Your lifeless brown eyes
I see me running after
And the morning sunrise
Spread light on a new world

In my recurring dream
We're much older now
And you could've changed your name
Been passed in a crowd
In circles I turn over
Cities and towns we used to run to

After The healing,
after decades or more
You will find me
Ready to know you
Long after letting go,
long after the war
I will find you ready to love me

In my recurring dream
The storm seems to have passed
The fortress 'round your heart
Towers of glass
I take a breath to call to you
But scenes change so fast
I soon forget where we are

I spy you on a train
Steaming away
A voice across the market square
What did she say?
you vanish round the corner
The games our minds play
Then back to my own bedroom.

After The healing,
after decades or more
You will find me
Ready to know you
Long after letting go,
long after the war
I will find you ready to love me
Lift up your eyes to mine
Don't wake me before
We can finally see we are in the sun

Down the hall I can hear you
In my bed I can feel you
Pastures outside my door
Where your horses still run
Was a time when I knew you
For one moment I glimpsed you
Will you know me again
After the healing's done?

After The healing,
after decades or more
You will find me
Ready to know you
Long after letting go,
long after the war
I will find you ready to love me
Lift up your eyes to mine
Don't wake me before
We can finally see we are in the sun
After the healing's done
Track Name: When Howie Dressed Me Down
Thought I was gold, sold.
The years they had claimed
Gave my all, all, all
Then the call finally came
That office door shut,
A knife in the gut,
Knew as I walked back down the hall
Things would not be the same

The distant chimes
The setting sun behind the blinds
Little pieces never leave me
When Howie dressed me down

He sees a fraud, a fake,
I see my mistake
My face turns cold
My fingers start to shake
How many years blown,
kid what were they for?
I see my shadow on the floor
This is real I am wide awake

The desk, the black eyes,
The off-and-on fluorescent light
I can see it, I can hear it
When Howie dressed me down

When Howie dressed me down
Said this is for your own good.
When Howie dressed me down
Sorry I'd wasted all his time, dropped my eyes and saw where I stood

So many years now
Under the bridge
Why give such power to the son of a bitch?
Thoughts, ghosts, where do they come from?
He never knew what he was doing he was sadder than anyone

They worried, they watched
They had to bring me down a notch
It was always for my own good
To set me straight somehow
Remember the desk, the light
The answers I could not get right
I can hear it, I can feel it
When Howie dressed me down
Track Name: The Professor
Here in my ivory tower
I'm the fascinating thinking machine
A dozen theories I'm dying to prove
And nobody to see what I mean
No one
To see
They don't see me

If I remember to do it
Once a blue moon eye contact's made
No sense of timing, I hold too long
And get nervous
As I look away
and feel
These eyes
My cold blue eyes

Not smile like a child's would
Too serious for my own good
And you'd think it was easy to love yourself
Like I love everybody else
I'm lost
In my own room
I only want to know you
And the moment I think I can trust myself
I fall back
The professor strikes again

You know the first impression
Only so many things you control
They looked right through the jacket you bought
Listened through every story you told
No one
Recalled
The tales you told

Should I examine my zipper?
Does my collar have a ketchup stain?
I think I see a connection made
But they keep on forgetting my name
My name
One day
I'll hear my name and

Laugh like a child would
Too serious for my own good
And you'd think it was easy to love yourself
Like I love everybody else
I'm lost
In my own room
I only want to know you
And the moment I think I can trust myself
I fall back
The professor strikes again

I think about my dear old mom
She loved every single thing I said
Yeah I could kill a man and still not let her down
If I could see myself that way
There might be brighter days ahead
I could quiet down, let go, and watch it
Turn you around

Back in the ivory tower
Where my theories at least I can know
I know one other thing right about now
I'm so tired its high time to go
To bed
Where things
Don't hurt my head

And dream like a child would
Too serious for my own good
And you'd think it was easy to love yourself
Like I love everybody else
I'm lost
In my own room
I only want to know you
And the moment I think I can trust myself
I fall back
The professor strikes again
Track Name: I've Been Thinking
Can't sleep
I turn on my TV
To quiet a mind
That won't stop racing
How I've aged;
Will the kids be okay?
It bitters the fruit I should be tasting

And so I complain 'cause
I missed another sunset
See there I go
Haven't learned my lesson yet

And I've been thinking
Life's for living
I should be laughing
I don't know why I won't let it go
The world is turning
Time goes flying
And I've been fighting
I Don't know why I won't let it go

Sunday, had some time to play
Saw an old Buddhist friend, what a book he's writing
Faced facts,
There's so much I want back
Still, with all that I've got
I had best be biting my tongue

And he reminds me
To notice every sunset
Says I'm looking young
Man I don't feel that quite yet

And I've been thinking
Life's for living
I should be laughing
I don't know why I won't let it go
The world is turning
Time goes flying
And I've been fighting
I Don't know why I won't let it go
Eyes go blurry
From all my worry
I'll set myself free
But then why can't I just let it go
And my friends tell me
I look so happy
Do they see something I don't?

Hear that voice? It's always counting time
To steal half my peace of mind
And there's a loving one and oh yes, I believe in that too
To wake with worry leaves you paralyzed
It lives not just in your mind
It's in my greying hair
What god would put it there?
Man it's hard to trust you.

Daydream, I'd just turned seventeen
Life had barely begun
I was broken hearted
Summer days
Redhead girl gone away
Is it then or much later when child's eyes started to fade?
Gotta get back there someday

And I've been thinking
Life's for living
I should be laughing
I don't know why I won't let it go
The world is turning
Time goes flying
And I've been fighting
I Don't know why I won't let it go
Eyes go blurry
From all my worry
I'll set myself free
But then then why can't I just let it go
Did I imagine
I heard you laughing
Like we're two children?
We just gotta try to let it go.
Track Name: Kid
Hey kid, welcome to this place
You must have walked far
There ain't nothing close to here.
One crooked highway cuts here
Through the sand like a scar
From hometowns where the fight is clear

Time flies like an eagle
You just don't understand
Till some of your time has flown
Don't blame it on yourself kid
You're the best kind of man
You will not be turned to stone
For the chances you call blown

Let me guess...
You were young just yesterday
And everybody makes mistakes
But you were never supposed to arrive here
Yeah let me guess
You were clever but what's it worth?
Couldn't see around the curves
And you don't want to spend your life here
Well, welcome home.

Can't tell you if a bookshelf full of plays and poetry
Still says what I'd want to say
But it's amazing to have thought so hard and seen what I could see
It will all be gone someday
We will all be gone someday.

Let me guess
You were young just yesterday
And everybody makes mistakes
But you were never supposed to arrive here
Yeah let me guess
You took your lessons like you should
You were earnest, you were good
And you don't want to spend your life here
Well, welcome.

Down by the waterfront on the first of May
People strolling, breezes blowing, summer coming soon
Children chase and worries seem a world away
Then there's you. Then there's you,

Just like me, if you'd enjoy the ride kid one percent more than you do,
See how brightly your star has shown
You would have your ride back home

Let me guess...
Track Name: Saying Goodbye
Saying goodbye,
Are there words I can find
To make it feel real
'Cause the world seems the same.
It's the same old moon
As when I was a child
The same park where we played
And the same summer rains
The boy with his dreams
He can never outgrow
If only the new world were less like the world I know
The only one I know

Behind that door
Its his home
His kids
His life
He has everything
Behind that door
It's the same old town
Past the roads
and the schools
And the dreams
And you know he still dreams
And he wants more

He laughs out loud
Ancient joke
He once shared
With a friend,
He nearly calls
Until he realizes...
Yeah he wants more
He wants more

Saying goodbye,
Are there words I can find
To make it feel real
'Cause the world seems the same.
It's the same old moon
As when I was a child
The same park where we played
And the same summer rains
The boy with his dreams
He can never outgrow
If only the new world were less like the world I know
The only one I know

The first ten seconds of the day
I don't even know my age.
I need two cups to realize it ain't
Twenty years ago
Can you help me get that phases pass
That fingers ache 'cause bones won't last
And write a clever epitaph to
To everything I know

He wants more.

Saying goodbye....
Track Name: The Libertarian - bonus track
And so the libertarian
Read Atlas Shrugged in high school.
It changed his life forever!
Better go hungry than to soak the government
It's only common sense. Don't A=A?
'Cause to a logical thinker
This world ain't so hard to figure.
It's a game of survival and if you're the winner
let the lion eat dinner
and the lambs can pray.

In a garage, in a basement,
He works all night, the libertarian
He's a cowboy, a modern lone ranger, a smart guy
Yeah he's the libertarian
He ain't heartless. He cares about children,
So don't tread on the libertarian man!

Built an elaborate train set
He tinkers with it for hours!
Plasticine hobos stay warm by a fire.
They can only admire what a great man can be!
Got a ham radio station,
A generator for power.
They can't silence him. Tonight at 9 pm,
He'll shout at the world from his property!

Alone in a bedroom, he bangs on a drumset.
He keeps great time--he's the libertarian!
Cuban cigars you wonder how he gets to buy--
Well, baby, he's the libertarian!
He's a hunter, yeah. He eats what he kills, yeah!
So don't tread on the libertarian man.

And don't de-humanize him.
Have I mischaracterized him?
They say if you can get close, you've never had a better friend.
I see him throwing his hands up--
He should have gone into stand-up.
He's dry, irreverent and cool,
And I need a dose now and again.

He says what he's thinking, so you gotta admire
A straight-shooter like the libertarian.
He follows his passion, yeah, a lover and fighter
Don't mess with the libertarian!
In a garage, in a basement, he works all night
He's the libertarian
He's a cowboy, a modern lone ranger, a tough guy,
Yeah he's the libertarian
Self-reliant, but he's there when you need him,
So don't tread on the libertarian man!
Not the government, not in this life!
You best not tread on the libertarian man!